langit sore

disini terbaring,
nada-nada indah tanpa melodi
kumpulan kata tanpa makna.

disini kutuliskan,
jiwa membelenggu mencari raga
segala teriakan dalam hampa.

disini kutorehkan,
sunyi yang hilang dalam bising
terang yang mati dalam gelap.

disini kulukiskan,
senja yang menangis dibalik horizon
gemerlap bintang yang lenyap ditelan awan.

// ini hanya manipulasi kata, sungguh.

?

Definisi bahagia:...........?
Tolong jelaskan kepada dia apa itu bahagia.
Berikanlah dia kebahagian
Dalam bentuk zat
padat
cair
atau gas.
Infus dia dengan bahagia.
Cekoki dia dengan bahagia.
Overdosiskan dia dengan bahagia.
Biarkan dia menggenggam bahagia itu.
Biarkan dia menghirup bahagia itu.
Biarkan dia mati memeluk bahagia itu.
Karena sebenarnya
ia diselimuti oleh gelombang nestapa
yang haus akan kebahagiaan
walaupun ia sendiri belum pernah mengecapnya.

hah, masa bodoh lah.

"Pada apa aku akan berjalan

jika tempatku berpijak hilang secepat satu kedipan mata.

Pada apa aku akan pulang

jika tempatku kembali enggan menyambut."

// help, I'm drowning //

                   Wash all my feelings away | sometimes what happened in the past stay in the past, no matter how hard you try and fight for it, it just won't come back. Either it just can't or it refuse to. Yes it hurts, but who am I to tell which is the calm water and which is the waves? | the last sentence kinda make no sense | my grammar sucks | yaudah deh.

                                                                 

l i m i t l e s s (photo gallery)

The sky is limitless, but which way should I soar my wings?

(All photos are taken by me. Please do not save / use  these pictures for any reason without MY permissions. BIG thanks (: )

Thundery night

Hello, once again.
And as I write this post, I realize now what you feel.
Or at least now, you feel what I felt before.

Yes indeed, the rain is pouring outside.
So does your heart that cries loudly inside your chest.
Yes indeed, the thunder strikes vicioulsy and scaring every living child that is still awake now.
So does your emotion that burns everytime you see me.

But, the truth is, I can't give up what I am currently having.
Because honestly, I have spent my past years giving in for you. For your happiness.
But it is now my turn to get what my heart desires, for once.
It is my turn to truly understand what is the meaning of happiness, even if the taste only gets to the tip of my tounge.

You once had your happiness in your hand, but mine was below my feet.
Like it or not, it is what it is.
Let me go, just like you did before.
Be happy for me, just like I did before.

// otw dari puncak dan macet. //

The way I see it.

So there I was again on an usual gloomy day, sitting in my favorite corner of the cafe, ordering my usual cup of tea while staring at my laptop with an unfinish novel besides it. Three feet away from my table sat a workaholic women. Why workaholic? Well I'm just guessing by the clothes, the hair, the way she types, pile of books next to her laptop, the high-tech communication devices on her lap, bunch of papers, etc. Maybe she's a lawyer or a manager or something. Few minutes afterwards came in a guy in a suit and went to the workaholic woman's table. The woman stood up and they shared a tiny kiss. Then the guy went to the cafe counter and bought a cup coffee. And they both sat there, face to face, talking and laughing. They should be married, I supposed, judging by they way they touch each other in an non sexual way and laugh, plus I think I saw a ring on each other finger. In the other corner of the cafe, sat a kind of good looking guy with a tattoo on his left hand. He got an earphone plug in to his ear, and he hums softly through the song. I thought it was some kind of rock and roll song because he seems like the guy who listens to that kind of song. But I was mistaken. He was huming Yellow by Coldplay. It is my favorite song, that's why I recognized it. Few minutes later when I looked up to the counter, I saw a few people standing patiently while waiting for some teenage kid who couldn't make up her mind whether what drink she wanted to order. In that waiting line, there was a couple, probably some freshman college kids. They looked so happy. Well I can tell by the way they hug and hold hands, tease each other, and the way the guy's eyes sparks so bright when he hears her laughs, and the way the girl's cheeks blushes every time he kissed her forehead. They look cute by the way, and perfect. But, when they're not laughing or hugging or sharing little kisses, you somehow could see that little fake smile fading away from the girl's face. And at the same time, you could also see the boy is checking out some random chick across him. Maybe they're just an old couple. Maybe the chemistry between them is no longer exist. Maybe they just bored. I don't know. As I continue writing this post, my phone suddenly vibrates. I got a text from my mum saying that she might pick me up a little bit late than the usual time, because it's raining and she got stuck in the traffic jam, the usual Jakarta's traffic jam. Yeah. I was very bored at the current moment, so I decided to look out to the window while sipping my cup of tea. It's raining. In fact, it's pouring outside, with scary thunders and stuffs. And as I witnessed how mother earth is just crying her heart out, I just realized something, I felt lonely, and it kills me. Lonelier than the usual lonely. Tragic, huh? 


Why? I have no idea.